How Our Attitude Affects Our Loved Ones
Before I dive into this post I just wanted to say a quick thanks for making the launch of Monday’s With Mary so successful! I loved knowing that I could help even one person be a little more positive throughout the week. So thank you for tuning into week two.
I am extremely fortunate to have a family that whole heartedly supports me. Anything that I decide to try they encourage me to go for it. When I told my fiancé, Joe, I was starting a blog he was truly happy for me. He then very quickly opened up to not knowing what a blog was. I explained to him that it was a place for me to write about my life and things that make me happy. Nothing fancy, nothing perfect. Just me.
After he read my first post he asked me “Where is all this positivity coming from?” I was slightly confused but I replied and said “Well, I am a positive person, and I want to see if other people can be a little more positive through my writing.” He gave me a look and I replied “Do you not think I am positive or something?” he replied “I think you are negative about some things, so I wouldn’t consider you the most positive person.” I was instantly taken back. I see myself as a pretty positive person. Most other people see me as an extremely high-energy, positive person. It takes a lot for me to be upset and get down about something. Someone at Crossfit just this week said “I don’t think I have ever seen you in a bad mood.” I have never had someone tell me I am negative. I was totally shocked. How could the person I love most think I am negative?
I relayed the conversation between Joe and me to my Mom and she had the same reaction. She could not imagine how someone could think of me as negative. She then said something really smart (I mean she is right 95% of the time, so I don’t know why I would ever doubt her with saying the right thing.) She explained how we confide in our loved ones the most, and we tell them everything- the good, the bad, and the ugly. With those words everything fell into place, and every negative comment I have said to him came flooding back at a pace I could not control.
I tell Joe everything, he is my person. We all have a person. Wether it is your husband, wife, sister, mom, dad, boyfriend, or best friend, we all have someone we go to when the going get tough. Being someone’s “person” can be challenging. This is a known fact- I did not just break revolutionary ground here, but it is something that we do not think about often. We don’t think about how when we unload our lives and thoughts on someone else it can be hard for them to take it all in over and over again. We just know we need to talk about it, so we do.
This week I have been focusing on trying to leave those unnecessary negative comments out of the conversations between me and Joe. Most of them consist of body image, and it is something I need to work on anyways, so it was a good wakeup call for me. I do not need to be complaining about it that much, nor does he need to hear about it.
Now, don’t get me wrong- I am a firm believer in a vent session, it is one of the best forms of therapy. I will continue to vent to Joe for the rest of my life, but the little naggy negative comments are not needed, especially about something so superficial and unimportant. I get we all have negative moments, sometimes life is just down right hard, or unfair, or miserable. But there can always be something to be grateful for, or be positive about. CHANGE THE NARRATIVE.
Your attitude doesn’t just affect you, it affects the people you are around. Your attitude is one of the only things in life you have true control over. So go take control over it and put a smile on someone’s face because it is going to be a damn good week. Happy Monday everyone!!
Stay positive, be grateful xxx