As many of you may know I am in a long distance relationship with the absolute love of my life, his name is Joe (here is half of his face). We met in college at Michigan State, he played baseball, I played field hockey and we lived in the same dorm freshman year. We have been together for 3 years now, and we get married in October of 2019! Major MAJOR heart eyes for this man!!
Our relationship is not typical of a couple who is a year and a half out from their wedding. We do not live together. We do not live in the same state. We do not live in the same time zone. Only thing we got going for us is the same country, so there’s that I guess.
Joe is a left handed pitcher in the White Sox organization! Not only do baseball games take forever, so does its season. Joe is gone playing baseball about 7 months out of the year, pretty much never knowing exactly what state he will be in or for how long. This is his first full season, as he got drafted June of 2017, so this is our first time figuring out what this whole minor league baseball life consists of. We have done distance before, summers in college, winter breaks, we have done it, and we have survived. Over the years we have figured out what works for us and what doesn’t and how to make things a little bit easier. It has definitely been a learning experience.
One thing we have 100% figured out is that we have a limit- where all the rainbows and butterflies go away. We get cranky, negative and argumentative. It’s literally like one day we wake up and say here it is, we now are on edge, watch out world. It is ALWAYS at 8 weeks of not seeing each other. And guess what? This week marks 8 weeks, so here we are in our funk- I am getting pissy about him playing Fortnite, and he is getting pissy about me telling him a story he isn’t interested in.
Wednesday night I could feel myself getting physical irritated as I was trying to fall asleep. I started thrashing around in bed, I started to sweat, I was just all over uncomfortable. I FaceTimed Joe, and right away I could sense the tension in our voices. Within 30 seconds I was bawling my eyes out asking him why we always get irritated at around 8 weeks of being apart. I mean I was full on Kim Kardashian ugly cry face sobbing to him about this, because at that point it was just so overwhelming. All he could say is that he wasn’t really sure but we just freaking miss each other! And he’s right- being apart for 2 months is hard, there is no other reasoning needed.
I went into a slight downward spiral and just cried. I threw a little tantrum about how this isn’t fun and I don’t like it and how I wish we were “normal”. By the end of the conversation I was still sobbing, but it was about wanting a Chick-fil-a milkshake and all he could do was laugh at me, and all I could do was laugh at myself. I mean he was right, why was a 22 year old crying about wanting a milkshake, but then again have you tasted one? Straight crack. From then on we were out of our funk.
The point of this isn’t to make you say poor MaryClaire, or to promote the fact that Chick-fil-a does have very high quality milk shakes. The point of this is to say IT’S OKAY that I just had a total break down, and it’s okay to admit things are hard, and to say I don’t want to be “normal”. Each love story is different in it’s own way. I don’t want to have the one I always imagined I’d have, because Joe is so much more than the man I thought I would marry. I want the one we are creating together- because its ours.
I am learning that distance does truly make the heart grow fonder, and every day apart is one more day of built up excitement when I finally get to see him (in 4 more weeks!!!!!!!) We will probably have the 8 week wtfs until we finally get to spend everyday together, but until then we are learning how to talk about them and move forward. And that just fine by me.
Stay positive, be grateful xxx