Hey everybody, I’m back!
This was supposed to go live yesterday, but I ate Chipotle Sunday afternoon and got TERRIBLE food poisoning. I was out of commission until literally right now, so happy Tuesday!
As some of you know I have been taking a little hiatus from writing, mostly because I did not have the time to give you, and myself, the quality that I want and because I was lacking inspiration. I promised myself I never wanted writing to be a chore, I wanted it to be an escape for me and I wanted it to be enjoyable. So when I found myself sitting and staring at my laptop screen I put it on the back burner.
I still may not know exactly what to write about, but I know I need to write. I need a little therapy, because I am a firm believer that writing is good for the soul, and not to mention my life had changed so much in the last few months it’s time for a little update!
This Monday marks the start of my 4th week in nursing school and the week my first two exams fall on. If you haven’t seen a bunch of first semester nursing students preparing for their first exam let me give you a little visual.
Imagine predominately girls in scrubs and the ugliest white shoes you’ve ever seen sitting around a large table. Every inch of that very large table is covered in books that could break your back, unlimited notebooks, stethoscopes, blood pressure cuffs, 73 colors pens and laptops open to yet another Blackboard notification we have received from our instructors. Now imagine every person at that table having minor panic attacks every time we try to answer a question. Image them crying and laughing and disagreeing with what the freaking NCLEX people say the answer is even though they are the gods we answer to.
Now imagine every single person knowing what those other people sitting at that table are feeling. Imagine every person helping their fellow classmates out because it’s nursing school and that’s what you do. Imagine teaching and learning and writing and crossing out answers. Imagine trying to find the gosh darn brachial pulse on each person at the table so you can take their blood pressures and check off one of your skills tests.
I have never been thrown so much information in my life within 3 weeks. I have never tried so hard in school in my life. And most importantly, I have never felt such a deep connection to complete strangers on the first day of class. I know I have made life long friends within a matter of days.
The program I am in is tough, there is no disagreeing there. But what most every patient I will eventually take care of is going through will be harder.
Fighting for your life after being hit by a drunk driver is harder, going through chemotherapy is harder, giving birth to a baby is harder, losing a limb is harder, losing your mind to Alzheimer’s is harder, watching your child be diagnosed with cancer is harder.
So when I am sitting in the library on a Saturday for 8 hours I think about my future patients and realize what I am doing is not as hard as what they will be going through. Giving up two years of my life to make flash cards, and read books and take countless notes is all worth it for saving the lives I will one day have the knowledge to save.
I am exhausted and stressed and my brain might explode but I am so freaking privileged to sit in that seat and wear those scrubs.
So here’s to accepting where you are in your life, where ever that may be! The struggle will be worth it. You just have to fight through it to get to where you want to be. Keep fighting and dreaming and kicking ass.
Stay positive, be grateful xxx